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For those of you that don’t know me my name is Katrina, however my friends call me Kate. My nieces have named me Katie, I only get the Aunty title when they want something. I am 35 years old and live in a very small town near Echuca. I have had a lot of ups and downs in life and I suppose it would be very easy for me to focus on all of the negative things that have gone on in my life. But that is not how I am. I am a positive person and believe that if you look hard enough you can find good in everything. Almost 3 years ago I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. At the time I thought it was the worst news I could ever be told. I had grown up hearing stories about my grandfather who had MS and died at the age of 35 due to complications. I only ever heard of my grandfather getting worse so the images I had were very scary. Here I was 32 getting my life back together after a disastrous marriage and the all of a sudden I get this thrown at me. I came out of the hospital in a wheelchair with a walking stick my new best friend. This was not supposed to happen to me!!!! But it did and slowly, very very slowly I learnt to accept it. I started on my injections and was grateful that unlike my grandfather I did have help and medication and a wonderful medical support team.
So I had accepted it, I hadn’t learnt to deal with it yet that was to come. Six months after I was diagnosed my younger sister showed me that worse things can happen. She lost her third daughter Maitlin at birth. This also was not suppose to happen, this birth was to be the silver lining in this dark cloud that was hanging over my head. My nieces are my life, and somebody was playing a very cruel joke on me and taking this precious gift that I had so been looking forward to away. Life sucked, it was unfair and I was angry. But I had to stay strong , my sister and my nieces needed me so I put this whole stupid ms thing aside because I just didn’t have time for it. I pushed and I pushed and I pushed until finally I had to give in and concede defeat. I got hooked up to the drip and became very angry with myself. People needed me and here I was unwell. Life went on as they say slowly but surely, I had become a very angry person and I didn’t like it one little bit. I kept trying to find the old me but I just wasn’t there anymore. Then my sister announced she was pregnant again. I wanted to be happy for her and her family but I was so very scared. Life was being cruel. I could not handle anything else. But I supported my sister as best I could. After a very long and agonizing 9 months beautiful Bronte Maygen arrived safe and well. Bronte’s sisters could not understand why when my sister and her new born were wheeled passed I cried. I let out nine months of tension and the relief was incredible. Everybody was happy safe and healthy. I wanted life to stop right there but I also new that it couldn’t. By the time Bronte came into the world I had moved to the country with my mother. That was a very hard decision to make, I wanted to be there for my sister and her family but I also needed to try to get my life back on track and I couldn’t do that where I was so I bit the bullet and moved. I then discovered that I loved this new way of life, I found that I enjoyed the country air and for the first time very I took up gardening and felt such an achievement when I served up my own home grown vegetables for dinner. Slowly I was starting to find good in life. Then the next bombshell fell. Jacinta rang when Bronte was about 6 weeks old telling me that she had just been to the eye specialist as her eyes had been playing up and after a week of antibiotics they had not gotten any better. He then started asking her questions about numbness and tingling and when she mentioned that she had a sister with MS he suggested that maybe she should be checked out. I rang my wonderful neurologist and got an appointment with him the next day for her. After her test she was given the same news that I had been given nearly 2 years earlier. I felt guilty, I knew it was not my fault but I somehow felt that I started this and Jacinta had been through enough, basically this was just WRONG!!!! I tried as best I could to help Jacinta and her family while taking care of myself and still trying to grow my wonderful vegies that I was now so into. Again life moved on as best it could and slowly we all learnt to hold our chins up again. Then in March of this year we received an unexpected phone call from my eldest sister Lee. The family had had a falling out with her and we had not spoken for about 7 years because, well who knows lets just say we were all at fault and all very foolish. But she needed us and we were there for her. Her partner of 10 years all of a sudden decided that he didn’t want her anymore and literally kicked her out of home. So off we went to get her and bring her back. It took a lot of adjusting from everybody and there was a lot of tears and many words yelled but slowly we all settled back in together. Then we got a phone call from my younger brother Matthew. Yes, another phone call to my neurologist and another family diagnosis. And yes the guilt started to rise again. I had started to give up on life. Not so much give up on life but I stopped living so to speak. I was 34 and spent all my time at home. Well my big sister changed that. She has helped me get back on track, she has showed me how to have a life again. These days I am busy looking for work, going out, enjoying life and even dating. I am even planning a 6 month holiday over to WA with her. That is the reason for this web site. So that I can keep everyone up to date with my plans and my travel. I want to show the world that having MS does not mean that you can’t have a life. I know that I may have some limitations and I need to take precautions but I can still live and I can still have a great life. I have just read through this and realised one thing, I don’t think I mention my mother in this. You see my mother is so many things to me. She is my friend, my rock, my punching bag, my counsellor, well I could go on forever really lets just say that she is everything to me. She has been there for all the great times in my life but most importantly she has stood by me in all the crappy times and to me that is very important. I love you mum. Well as I start making plans I will let you all know but for now it looks like we will be leaving early April and that’s about it in the way of plans at the moment. So any hints or suggestions on travelling please feel free to message me as I will be very grateful. Take care Kate |
